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The Poems
From Songs to a Watchful Lover by Donna Hardy
Poems: 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40
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I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me…
Poor, needy, bogged down, I waited, cried out, waited still.
The Beloved heard my cry, bent down, lifted me from the mire, set my feet on solid ground, gave me a new song.
I sing now of love, of kindness, of tender mercies not withheld. Listen. I tell all.
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Lord, make me to know… the measure of my days…
Worn out by antagonism, competition, betrayal, I wonder what is left of my numbered days, what my life has meant, who might gather what I have sown.
I am abandoned.
Surely, Love, you have not forgotten; surely you need only this cue to come lay a cool cloth on my brow, take my face in your two hands, look at me, see me.
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Forsake me not…be not far from me.
It’s all come crashing down. Not even you want to be around me. I’m bone tired.
My head throbs, my heart races in a body that cannot lift itself from the bed. Strength ebbs, all desire drains away.
I have given up even the idea that my enemies be destroyed, that justice prevail. I have given up love.
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Trust in the Lord, and do good… and verily thou shalt be fed.
I tolerate now enemies who once had me by the throat.
They meant to strip me bare, but still I have enough. I grow in mercy and charity.
I am stronger, wiser. Love has been generous. I have enough.
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They shall be abundantly satisfied with the fatness of thy house…
So quickly I fall into old ways: fast food, freeways, coffee in cardboard cups, everything on the run.
I remember quiet meals at your house, sea bass baked in Dijon sauce, grilled polenta, kale, herbs, wines that changed each meal to a celebration. Take me in, Love. Feed me.
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Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions…
It’s a carnival in here, Love, my head filled with money changers, doves in cages, peace for sale. Inventions distract me. I hear your call. My soul is on hold. Clearly these are not my friends. I know what I want. Be with me in my knowing.
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I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
I have been freed from all fears but this: that, in my good fortune, I might lose sight of the Beloved.
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Praise the Lord with harp… Sing unto him a new song…
I sing a new song, Love. New beat, new words. I owe it all to you: dawn, dusk, lunch with a friend, the view from the top of the climb, the kiss, the scone, the current jam. All.
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Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
There I fell again. I want to hide myself, my fault, my weakness. Who could suffer me?
You, Love, hear my cry, come to me in the night, lie with me, warm me with your sweet breath,
caress me with words of compassion. In the morning, your voice in my ear, I am new again.
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My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies…
I am a shattered dish. Friends are gone. Even people in the streets turn away. Only you, Love, are my house of refuge, my city of hope. You open doors for me into spaces I could not have imagined
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…thou hast brought up my soul from the grave…hast turned…my mourning into dancing…
I was all right, Love: proud, prosperous, confident; until I stumbled, fell, and lost my nerve.
I missed you then. I cried out, set off through dark corridors and across litter-strewn fields to find you; but I had forgotten your face.
You were there even so: wrapping your cloak about me, holding me, telling me of your love, my worth. I have danced every day since.
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The voice of the Lord is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth …
The voice of Love is in my ear: thundering, echoing, murmuring, smoothing, soothing, splintering, dividing. Fire burns in my heart and in my belly. My head is filled with possibility.
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…if thou be silent to me, I become like them that go down into the pit.
The Beloved answers my call. Every part of me comes alive.
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… the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Invite me in, Love. Show me all, tell me everything. Here in the midst of living, now while we’re still alive.
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… redeem me, and be merciful unto me.
I have chosen you over every other. I want to live where you live, surround myself with the beauty that surrounds you. Claim me, Love. I will not keep you a secret.
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Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths..
All day I wait, hoping the Beloved might come, might offer me refuge, free me from the oppression of my sorrow; might relieve me of the responsibility for the hard choices I am asked to make.
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Lift up your heads, O ye gates … and the King of glory shall come in.
I unveiled my torn soul, opened my tremulous heart. The Beloved entered. Now, plunged into the darkest deep or giddy on thin air at the highest peak, I find Love.
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... I will fear no evil: for thou art with me …
Whenever I am with you, Love, I return home restored. You open me to new life. You know every road, every refuge, every soulful gathering place along the way. You give me new courage to move through old dark places. Fear is gone.
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... why hast thou forsaken me?
Love has gone. Wild beasts surround me, will tear me apart. I am poured out like water, my bones piled up as on a bier, my heart a stone, my breath a whisper of the question: Without love, what? Why?
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He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it …
Rejoice! I have come fully alive; and that is all Love asks.
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